Overthinking.

I saw this Brene Brown quote the other day, and I thought, “Wow. That’s my past several weeks all wrapped up with a not-so-pretty bow.”

Overthinking has been my thing lately. I’ve been overthinking all the things:

• Buying a new house AND everything that goes with that. We were only kinda’ looking, then we found THE house and closed TWENTY SEVEN days later. #ohmygoodness
• Getting our old house ready to sell AND all that entails.
• What if we don’t sell our old house?

Then, we got a contract on the old house FIVE days after listing it, and I was feeling so very grateful, but those thoughts of…

“What if the inspection comes back not-so-great and they back out or we have to fix a lot of stuff (our house is almost 30 years old, after all)?”

Or…

”What if the buyers back out (even though they love our house!), and then we’ll have to start all over again?”

Or…

“What if…”

“What if…”

So many of those “What ifs…” made sleeping very difficult over the past several weeks to the point that I felt like a walking zombie a lot of days, and I was on the verge of meltdown status a lot of the time. A lot. And this is the first time I’ve ever worked full-time AND bought a new home AND moved AND sold a home all at the same time. It’s a totally different game. Totally. Thankfully, I have a VERY patient husband.

(And all of the above, my friends, is why I’ve had a super bad case of writer’s block…no new blog posts since right before we found the new house).

Overthinking?

Yeah…totally me. In both the big things and the tiniest of things sometimes.

And yes, it took away the happiness of finding a beautiful new home where we can make memories for many, many years to come with our friends, family, kids, grandkids, and great grandkids.

It took away the happiness of beginning a new adventure and season in life in a new home with my amazing husband.

It made me super stressed. All of the time.

And it made it harder to see the tender mercies that were being sent my way during the day every day. Every. Single. Day.

I’m usually a pretty positive person—I see the glass half full the vast majority of the time. But these past several weeks?

I gotta’ say, that “just have faith” part and that “look for the positive in everything” perspective have been really hard because I want things to turn out the way I want them to, you know, the as-little-stress-as-possible way.

But that’s not always how life goes…

• We had a leak into our basement from the laundry room the night before we moved out of the old house.
• Our dryer broke 5 days after we moved into the new house AND the day before we left for Oklahoma for Parker’s Army basic training graduation. Thankfully, our best friends let us use their dryer.
• I almost sold John’s BMW to Kailen instead of our 2006 Honda Pilot. That’s a story for another day. It’s funny…now…and we now need to get a replacement title for John’s car.
• And some other “fun” things that have happened over the past few weeks.

Because of all of this and more, I found myself in a pretty constant state of FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

And that’s not a fun place to be.

So this week, I’m going to work really hard to have more faith and less fear. I was going to say, “a lot less fear,” put let’s not push our luck quite yet. Here’s where I’m trying to be more faith-filled:

• Our old home WILL close on the 15th, and we’ll only have had to pay 1/2 an extra house payment. #hugeblessing
• We WILL get random things done at the new house so it feels organized and more like home. I don’t live in chaos/unorganization well. At all. And I must say, even after only 2 weeks, it’s slowly starting to come together, and it’s pretty exciting!

And, hopefully, I’ll have learned a very valuable lesson that will serve me well in the future when I find myself overthinking again.

Because overthinking is the twin sister to FEAR, and let’s be honest: 99.9% of the fears we have never come to pass!

Have faith.

Be happy.

Enjoy the journey.

Look for those tender mercies every single day.

Take time to just breathe.

Everything will be alright.