We often hear about people wanting to find “work/life balance” or just balance between all the things in their lives in general. But is that really possible?
Actually, no it’s not.
Balance is a myth. When we do one thing, we’re automatically throwing things out of balance. Think of it like a pair of scales that are 100% balanced: If we remove or add something to one of the pans on the scale, the scale is now out of balance. When we’re truly balanced, we’re stuck. We can’t move. And that’s a surefire way to stop any growth and to make life more stressful and unhappy.
What’s the key? How do we find some version of balance where we feel like all the important things in our life are getting the time and attention they deserve? We tweak that word balance a bit and turn it into a verb:
Balancing
New York Times Bestselling author Nora Roberts shared a popular theory about balancing several years ago, and I first learned about this theory from my old boss, Heidi Powell, when we were working on some content for a coaching lesson. And it’s powerful! Obviously, since it’s stuck with me for so long.
Here’s the theory behind the theory:
Our life is full of glass and plastic balls.
- The glass balls are our top priorities—the things that are most important to us. If we drop a glass ball, it will break. We can have more than one glass ball a day, but not so many that we’ll drop any of those balls.
- The plastic balls are important but not as high of a priority as the glass balls. If we drop a plastic ball, it won’t break. It will bounce. It will be fine.
Every day, we’re trying to keep the glass balls from breaking while being okay with some plastic balls falling to the ground. Some days, our glass and plastic balls will be different than other days, depending on what’s going on. The key is to know which balls are glass and plastic and to keep those glass balls in the air.
That’s balancing.
What would your glass and plastic ball be today? It’s an interesting thing to think about!
So, how do we do this balancing thing? How do we make sure those glass balls don’t hit the ground and shatter?
6 Tips for Balancing Your Life
Balancing your life can be tricky, and it’s a process that really doesn’t end. But it can be done! Here are 6 quick tips you can use to help with balancing your life:
Tip #1. Evaluate your balls daily. Don’t take it for granted that glass balls will always be glass balls and plastic balls will always be plastic balls. This only takes a few minutes at a time, but it’s crucial to keeping those glass balls safe.
Here’s an example: Our 37th anniversary was Monday. John had a last-minute client meeting in Utah that day which he could not get out of, so my plan was to spend the day just chilling and taking some self-care time. That was going to be a glass ball that day. And I was pretty excited about it. It helped turn a sad day into a better day. We’ll be celebrating our anniversary for the whole day on the 29th, so that’s something to look forward to! And that will be a glass ball for me that day.
But, a sweet man in our ward (church congregation) passed away last week, and one of my responsibilities at church includes organizing and taking care of family meals after funerals. So, this became my glass ball for Monday. That self-care glass ball turned plastic, and that’s okay! It was my choice, I was happy to serve, and I knew that serving needed to be a glass ball for that day. I was able to fit in some self-care time at the end of the day, so even though I thought that ball was plastic, it ended up being glass too. But, if it hadn’t worked out to do some self-care that day, that plastic ball would’ve been just fine. Make sense?
Tip #2. Make physical + mental health a priority. To me, this is a glass ball every single day. But, some days, I don’t treat it as such. If my physical + mental health are suffering, everything else in my life will suffer too. That’s just the honest truth. That glass ball makes balancing all the other balls possible. Here are some tips to make this a daily glass ball:
- Make sure you’re getting in at least a few minutes of movement every day. It could be as simple as walking around your house or office.
- Try and eat healthy foods to nourish your body and give it the fuel it needs so you can do the things you want to do—those glass balls. I try and follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of my food is on-plan, 20% is maybe so not on-plan but it helps me not feel deprived. #chocolatelover Some days, this looks more like 85/15 or 90/10, but the goal is at least 80/20.
- Make time and space for some mental health too—whatever works best for you. What works best for me? Reading, studying my scriptures, praying, writing in my gratitude journal, doing something for me for even a few minutes, and spending a little bit of time each day working on my goals.
Tip #3. Just say no. It’s 100% okay to say no to plastic ball things. And remember, “No.” is a complete sentence. Don’t feel like you have to qualify why you’re saying no. If just saying no is difficult, when faced with a request for your time, say something like, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.” I know I’ve said yes in the heat of the moment when I probably should’ve said no, and that makes it difficult to keep those glass balls in the air. Be realistic about your time, set and keep some boundaries, and don’t ever feel guilty for saying no.
Tip #4. Remember that everything has a trade-off. When you choose to do one thing, you’re choosing to not do something else. We can only do one thing at a time, as much as we wish that wasn’t true sometimes. So make sure what you’re choosing to do is a glass and not a plastic ball.
Tip #5. Pay attention to distractions. We’re faced with distractions 24/7/365, and if we’re not aware of them, they can affect our ability to protect our glass balls without us even realizing it. Pay attention to how much time you’re spending scrolling on your phone (prime examples!) and getting caught up in other plastic ball things.
Tip #6. Give yourself some grace. No matter how hard you try, some glass balls will break. And that’s okay! Balancing of our lives definitely has a learning curve, so when a glass ball breaks, give yourself some grace, figure out why it got broken, learn from the experience, and use that new-found knowledge for the future.
Balance is a myth. It just can’t happen. But balancing is totally attainable when we learn to prioritize and then protect what’s truly important—the glass balls in our lives. What tip will you try first? I’m going to focus on #6 because I know I could do better with that one.
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