This is not the post I had planned for this week. That one’s ready to go, but I won’t hit “Publish” until next week.
And this post is very hard for my momma heart to write, but I feel like I have to write it.
Here’s why.
I got a text late Friday night from Kamala while I was still in Arizona at Epic Weekend for our coaching group saying that Steven’s brother, Michael, was missing after going back country skiing with Scott, another of Steven’s brothers. They all live in Utah, and it’s cold. And it was dark. And I knew instantly that this was probably not good.
Saturday morning I got another text from Kamala on our family chain saying that search and rescue had arrived on the scene after dark and had searched as much as they could, and they were resuming the search that morning. Being the eternal optimist I am, I hoped in my heart of hearts that they’d find Michael and he’d be okay. But…I also knew realistically that Michael was probably gone.
I immediately got a text from John that said, “I think you need to go to Utah. They’re going to need help with the boys this week.” I was supposed to go home to Georgia Sunday after Epic Weekend was over. I texted Kamala to see if they wanted me to come, and I got back an immediate, “Yes.”
So I changed my flight (thank you, Southwest, for not charging change fees and for making life so much easier flying-wise).
Thankfully, Saturday was photo shoot day for all of our Epic Weekend coaching clients, and I helped all day long, which kept my mind busy and not thinking about Michael and his family, who I love so much. Kamala definitely hit the jackpot in the in-law department, and my heart was breaking for what they were going through. And if I let my mind go to that place of thinking about Michael and his family, it also went to thinking about my own kids, who are all around Michael’s age, and what if I’d lost one of them? My mind would also go to thinking about Michael’s parents and what they must be going through.
I cannot even imagine.
But what I could imagine instantly brought tears to my eyes. FYI: Deep breathing really helps if tears come but you don’t want people (friends, in this case) to see you crying. Because then the flood gates would really open. I practiced quite a bit of deep breathing Saturday. And Sunday.
Search and rescue found Michael’s body at about noon Saturday, and he’d been killed by an avalanche. I was so grateful they found his body so his family could have some closure to this horrific tragedy.
So I’m here in Utah, spending some unexpected time with my cute grandsons. I love being here with them (I was here just 2 1/2 weeks ago), but not for this reason. I would’ve much rather flown home Sunday night, which would’ve meant that this tragedy didn’t happen. But I’m so grateful I can be here to help with the boys so Kam can concentrate on Steven, and so they both can grieve. And I’m so grateful my job allows me to work from anywhere, and I’m so grateful for a husband who knew his daughter and family needed me with them for a few days more than he needed me to come home. He’s the best, I’m telling you!
Michael’s funeral is today. I cannot imagine how difficult this day will be for his family and for all those who love the Besendorfers. I’m so grateful for the knowledge I have that families are forever and that Michael will be reunited with his family one day.
And that knowledge is what gets me through tragedies like this.
This experience is yet another reminder that I need to treasure those I love every day and not get so hung up in the minutiae of life, most of which is really not important. At all. I need to tell those I love that I love them every opportunity I get. I need to make time for those I love. I need to continually reevaluate my priorities to make sure they’re in line with the most important things—the people in my life.
Please keep the Besendorfer family, and any other families going through hard times, in your thoughts and prayers. I know they’ll feel them, and those thoughts and prayers will give them comfort that is so needed. We’re all one big human family, and we need each other—in both the good times, and especially during the bad. As I’ve been trying to figure out how best to help and comfort these people I love, these words from The Book of Mormon keep coming to mind:
…and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort… ~Mosiah 18:8-9
Those beautiful mountains are for Michael. He and his three brothers and dad have spent a lot of time adventuring in the Utah mountains, and hopefully, all those memories will be a source of comfort for them for a long time to come.
PS: I’ve debated about adding this, but I really felt like I needed to. Let’s all just be kind. When the news stories came out about Michael’s accident and death, there were many, many, many comments offering compassion, sympathy, and empathy. But there were also those that were mean and judgmental. We never know all of the facts about anything, and especially at times of tragedy, let’s keep our opinions to ourselves and just be kind. Michael was one of the kindest, non-judgmental people, so let’s all be like Michael and simply Just. Be. Kind.
PPS: Learn more about Michael, his amazing (although way too short) life, and the incredible person he was here. We could all definitely use a Michael in our lives!
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