I made a new friend on my flight from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City last Thursday. Her name is Jan, and she sat in the middle seat between me and a very nice man trying to get home to Philadelphia after several flight changes due to the weather.
We started with the usual chitchat, and with a breaking voice, she told us her husband had passed away 3 weeks ago. We both told her how sorry we were, and my heart hurt for her. I couldn’t imagine what she must be going through.
We did our thing during the rest of the flight (I read a book, she and our Philadelphia friend took a nap), and when we left the plane, she asked me where baggage claim was, so I told her she could go with me. She’s been to the SLC airport before, but she’d always followed her husband to navigate the airport.
As we made the looonnnngggg trek to baggage claim (the new SLC airport is the worst, but I did easily get in a good chunk of my 30 minutes of movement for that day!), we talked about life.
We talked about our kids. She has a 10 year old daughter. She wanted to know all about our kids and grandsons, and she told me I was very blessed to have all of them. Of course, I agreed.
We talked about Utah and why we don’t live here since all our kids and grandsons live here. That led to talking about the horrible housing market in Utah, and how that also kept them from moving to Utah.
We talked about how we both recently bought homes with the master on the main, and she talked about how she told her husband she didn’t want them to have to do stairs when they’re old…and then she paused…because now they won’t get to grow old together.
We talked about our work. She’s a psychiatry nurse. She asked me about my job, and I told her about my new solopreneur adventure and the job I just left and how I was loving having more control over my schedule and my work life in general. She said that her husband was a busy attorney, working in both Utah and Vegas, and that he was always worried about money, even though he did very well. She talked about often encouraging him to work less and spend more time on other things like vacations, family things, and such, because you just never know…
Which was very interesting because I’d finished The Power of Starting Something Stupid on my flight from Atlanta to Vegas earlier that day, and the main premise behind the book is about starting to work on your goals and dreams NOW. Don’t wait until you have more time, money, or resources or until you retire to start “living” the way you want to live. I’d highly recommend that book!
And then, as we neared baggage claim, she told me what had happened with her husband. He was in Utah 3 weeks ago working. They always talked several times a day, and she was talking to her husband that night, and he said he wasn’t feeling very well. He had a sore throat, a cough, felt “cold to his bones,” and just didn’t feel well. She asked him to please go to Urgent Treatment or the ER if he didn’t feel better.
They found him dead the next morning.
She tearfully talked about how if she had been in Utah with him, like she was sometimes, she could’ve taken him to get treatment. And he’d still be here. #heartbreaking
We chatted more while we waited for our luggage, and she talked about how, after she finished getting her nursing license here in the states (I never learned where she’s from originally), she helped her husband study for bar exams in both states. She asked more about what I do as a freelance writer and editor, and she said she often helped her husband with writing and editing. She said, “Behind every good man is an amazing woman.” I agreed, and I told her I think it goes both ways. She agreed.
We chatted more as we waited at passenger pickup. Her husband’s secretary was picking her up to help her move his things from the apartment he rented when he was working in Utah to his office for now. Since his secretary is now out of a job, Jan offered to pay her for the day to help move his things instead of paying someone else or having to do it all by herself. I cannot imagine how difficult that day must’ve been for Jan.
As Kailen pulled up to pick me up, we parted with a hug, and I wished her all the best—as I was fighting back tears.
And I left my new friend Jan with a refreshed perspective on life. And what’s truly important in life.
Because this experience with Jan really affected me, and I’ve been thinking about it and her ever since.
Here are two of the gold nuggets I’m taking away from my brief time with Jan:
A lot of the things I worry about, and overthink, and focus on really aren’t that important.
- Example: My Honda Pilot is still in Kentucky, waiting for a new catalytic converter. Yes, there’s more to the story than I originally shared on IG, hence, why my car is still in Kentucky. And while this has been a stressful and frustrating situation, it will be fixed (eventually). I’ll get my Pilot back, it will be better than new in some ways (new transmission + new catalytic converter—both courtesy of Honda), and we’ll laugh about it one day.
Life can change in an instant.
- Like Jan told her husband, “You just never know…”
- We never know when we’ll get “that call,” or when someone we love will suddenly pass away, or get a terminal disease, or become disabled, or a myriad of other life-changing things that can happen. In an instant.
So, as I’m faced with choices as to how to spend my valuable time (because it is my choice), and armed with my refreshed perspective from my new friend Jan, I plan on asking myself these questions:
- Is it worth it?
- Will it draw my attention away from what’s truly important to me?
- Am I giving it more of my precious time (and thoughts) than it deserves?
- Can I find a way to balance out the stress, worry, etc., and put this thing in its correct and proper perspective?
And some final thoughts—things I’m going to do way more often:
- Hug those I love.
- Tell them I love them. Often.
- Call or FaceTime them more often.
- Make time for my most important relationships. Because when all is said and done, our relationships, memories, and our knowledge are the only things we can take with us.
- Keep an eternal perspective of what’s really important.
Because…
You just never know.
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